I’ve been called a Tr*nny but I won’t let that stop me
Recently I shared an article I wrote on Reddit. Its premise was centered around compromising on trans women and their place in the female locker room. I was banned immediately after I shared it with that group of my peers. With so much division in our world, I am feeling motivated now more than ever to return to my home base and hammer out my feelings on the good old keyboard.
Presently my biggest curiosity is: why does gender identity matter so much to a vocal minority who justify their opposition to trans existence with claims of apathy? It seems like 95% of the country these days is living in a world that makes no sense to the other 5%. I want to take the opportunity to break down my story for an audience. With anti-trans propaganda films like What Is a Woman floating around out there, I’m eager to state my espoused beliefs: I identify as a woman, I am encouraged when people use my pronouns, but I don’t believe the pronouns people choose for me, or the pronouns that I choose for myself- make me who I am. For example, if called a “man” I’d simply think to myself, what exactly is so manly about me anyway? Inaccurate.
So what now, do we really let words come between us? Or do we let things extrapolate out and for the truth to be revealed? Personally, I believe the world has been divided into several groups, and the people belonging to each of those groups subscribe to certain gender norms that make them feel good about themselves. I don’t think my nails make me a girl, nor does makeup, but my values are certainly informative. With so many women these days being vocal about their opposition to trans womens’ existence, I can say I have more in common with those women on popular issues, and that I’d actually see myself as a trad-wife (“traditional wife” -google it if you dare) before I could ever see myself as a man. From our hopes and desires to our fears and insecurities- like Martina said, deep down inside we are all the same. I’m a church girl, and I’m soft as gumdrops. And if your only opposition to me is that you’d like for me to choose different changing facilities and abstain from taking children to drag shows, I really don’t care. I went to catholic school as a child, and children grow up being imprinted on by those around them. Simple.
I spent years letting people think I was a man before I came out, but I’ve known since I was in 3rd grade that deep down inside, I’m a woman. I’m a Valkyrie. Healing soldiers on the battlefield (and as legend tells it- keeping Oktoberfest at my side) I’m a pacifist, not a fighter. Growing up with the tension of boys locker rooms has left me with a thicker skin than most, but I can tell you I’ve never acutally been in a fight… and I really hope MPD gets there before I find myself embroiled with one.
My moment of revelation actually happened for me while in church. I was just your average third grader, sitting in a pew, front and center with the alter before me, and caught a glimpse of an Archangel in my book. Nothing but a sword, shield, feminine visage, and the commands of God before me. Truly, femininity is spiritual, and what is spiritual is also cosmic.
The ideas I am espoused to were all good advice, taken from a page of the civil rights era. My grandmother who suffered during this time used to tell us: “kill them with kindness.” I believe the dilemma before us is no different than hers. I think we should take advantage of the opportunity before us. Let’s show up and change opinions, one kind smile at a time.
Xo Jane
